I’m now in my late 50s, and when I look back at everything I’ve learnt through personal training, yoga, nutrition, breathwork, NLP, meditation and, most importantly, actually living in my own body, there are so many things I wish somebody had explained to me when I was 30.
Back then, I thought being healthy was largely about weight, calories and exercise.
Now I see it very differently.
Health is also about our muscles, gut, brain, blood glucose, nervous system, sleep, recovery, breathing, mindset and the hundreds of tiny decisions we make every day.
So if I could sit down with my 30-year-old self, these are the ten things I’d tell her.
1. Do the hard thing first — and don’t wait to feel motivated
I used to think I needed motivation before I could do something.
Now I think action often comes first and motivation catches up afterwards.
If exercise is important to you and you know that you’re someone who runs out of energy as the day progresses, experiment with doing it earlier. Don’t spend all day negotiating with yourself about whether you’ll go to the gym tonight.
Get up. Put your clothes on. Put some music on. Start moving.
Morning exercise isn’t physiologically “better” for everybody, and the best time to exercise is ultimately the time you can consistently maintain. But I know myself. My energy and motivation are much better earlier in the day, so that’s when I want to get important things done.
I also use my 15-minute rule.
Don’t promise yourself an hour.
Promise yourself 15 minutes.
After 15 minutes, if you genuinely want to stop, stop. But very often something interesting happens: your body has warmed up, your mood has shifted and you’ve stopped thinking about whether you want to exercise.
You’re already doing it.
And afterwards, the whole day can feel different.
2. Look after your gut — you’re feeding an ecosystem
I wish I’d understood my gut when I was younger.
We have trillions of microorganisms living in and around our digestive system, collectively known as the gut microbiome. Researchers are increasingly interested in the relationship between this microbial community and digestion, immunity, metabolism and communication between the gut and brain.
One of the things our gut microbes particularly like is fibre.
That’s one reason I now try to eat a huge variety of plants — vegetables, fruit, beans, lentils, chickpeas, nuts, seeds, herbs and whole grains.
Different plants provide different fibres and plant compounds, so rather than obsessing over one magical “superfood”, I think about variety.
There’s a popular statement that “most serotonin is made in the gut.” There is truth behind this — a very large proportion of the body’s serotonin is produced in the gastrointestinal tract — but that doesn’t mean gut serotonin simply travels into the brain and makes us happy. The gut-brain relationship is much more complicated and fascinating than that.
What we can say is that diet quality and the gut microbiome are increasingly being studied in relation to physical and mental wellbeing.
Ultra-processed foods, excessive alcohol and a diet dominated by low-fibre, highly refined foods can crowd out the nutritious foods our bodies need. So rather than constantly asking, What should I remove?, I increasingly ask:
What can I add?
Another vegetable. Some lentils. Seeds on breakfast. A handful of berries. Herbs. Beans in a soup.
Feed yourself well, and feed those little microbes too.
3. Your internal dialogue matters more than you realise
I wish I’d understood this at 30.
Listen to what you say to yourself throughout one ordinary day.
I’m useless.
I look terrible.
I can’t do this.
Everybody else is better than me.
I always mess things up.
Imagine having another person following you around all day saying those things to you.
You wouldn’t tolerate them for five minutes.
Yet we can speak to ourselves like that for decades.
Our brains do have what psychologists call a negativity bias — negative or threatening information can command disproportionate attention. From an evolutionary perspective, being alert to potential threats had obvious survival value.
But a brain that’s good at spotting danger isn’t necessarily a brain that’s automatically going to create a peaceful internal world for us.
This is where my NLP, meditation and mindset work have been so useful.
We can learn to notice the thought without automatically accepting it as fact.
Instead of I can’t do this, try:
This is difficult, but I can take the next step.
That’s not pretending everything is wonderful.
It’s learning to become someone who supports yourself rather than constantly undermining yourself.
4. Never underestimate the power of music
Music is one of my favourite wellbeing tools because it can change how a moment feels incredibly quickly.
Feeling flat before the gym?
Put on something powerful.
Overwhelmed after a difficult day?
Try something slower and calming.
Need to clean the house when you really don’t want to?
Turn the music up!
Research into music and exercise has found that music can influence mood, enjoyment and perceived exertion, and in some circumstances can support exercise performance.
I’ve become so interested in this that I now create my own music for yoga and exercise, including songs containing positive words and affirmations.
I love the idea that while my body is hearing a beat that encourages it to move, my mind is hearing:
You’re strong.
Keep going.
You’ve got this.
Music isn’t just decoration in my life anymore.
I use it deliberately.
5. Learn about your nervous system
This may be one of the biggest things I wish I’d understood earlier.
Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed, frightened or angry, it feels as though we are the problem.
But sometimes what we’re experiencing is a nervous system responding to perceived threat.
Our sympathetic nervous system helps mobilise us for action. People often describe this through the language of fight or flight, while freeze responses involve somewhat more complex nervous-system processes.
The important thing for me has been learning that I don’t always have to react immediately to what I’m feeling.
I can notice it.
I’m activated.
My heart is racing.
I’m holding my breath.
Everything suddenly feels urgent.
Then I can work with my body.
Walk.
Breathe.
Move.
Practise yoga.
Go outside.
Slow the exhale.
Give myself ten minutes before responding.
Understanding my nervous system has given me a completely different relationship with stress.
The feeling is real.
But I don’t necessarily have to obey it.
6. Alcohol doesn’t give you relaxation for free
Alcohol can initially feel relaxing because it’s a central nervous system depressant.
But there’s a bill to pay.
As alcohol is metabolised and its sedating effects wear off, sleep can become more fragmented. Alcohol can interfere with sleep architecture, and the following day some people experience fatigue, poorer concentration, low mood or increased anxiety.
It can also make healthy choices harder.
When you’ve slept badly and feel tired, the body and brain naturally become interested in quick, rewarding food. Suddenly the biscuits you weren’t remotely interested in yesterday look incredibly appealing.
That’s why I no longer think about alcohol simply in terms of the calories in a glass of wine.
I think about the knock-on effects.
How will I sleep?
How will I feel tomorrow?
Will I want to exercise?
What will my energy be like?
What food will I want?
Health behaviours don’t happen independently. They affect one another.
7. Understand blood glucose — but don’t become frightened of carbohydrates
I wish somebody had explained blood glucose to me much earlier.
When we eat carbohydrates, many are broken down into glucose. Blood glucose rises and the pancreas releases insulin, which helps glucose move into cells and influences how nutrients are stored and used.
Insulin does play a role in fat storage, but I think calling it simply a “fat-storing hormone” can make the story sound much simpler than it really is. Body-fat change over time is influenced by overall energy balance, food intake, activity, hormones, genetics, sleep and other factors.
So my aim isn’t to keep insulin permanently low.
Insulin is an essential hormone.
What I am interested in is supporting healthy glucose regulation.
That’s particularly important to me personally, and I’ve learnt a great deal from Jessie Inchauspé, the Glucose Goddess.
I now think much more about the composition of my meals.
Where’s my protein?
Where’s my fibre?
Where are my vegetables?
If I’m eating carbohydrates, what am I eating alongside them?
And one of my favourite habits is incredibly simple:
walk after eating.
Muscle contraction helps muscles take up glucose, and even relatively short periods of movement after a meal can help reduce the post-meal glucose rise.
You don’t have to become afraid of oats, potatoes, rice or fruit.
Understand carbohydrates rather than fearing them.
8. Sugar isn’t evil — but it is incredibly easy to overeat
When I was younger, I spent far too much time eating “diet” foods and thinking only about calories.
Now I’d rather eat food that actually nourishes me.
Table sugar provides energy but very few micronutrients. Foods such as cakes, biscuits, sweets and sugary drinks can also be incredibly easy to consume quickly without producing the same fullness as a meal containing protein, fibre and whole foods.
People often describe sugar as “addictive”. Scientifically, whether sugar itself should be classified as addictive in humans in the same way as substances such as nicotine or alcohol is debated.
But I don’t need to call something clinically addictive to recognise that I personally find some sweet foods extremely easy to overeat.
One biscuit can make me want another biscuit.
And another.
So rather than relying on willpower, I prefer to create an environment that makes eating well easier.
I don’t try to live in a world where I can never have anything sweet.
I simply don’t want sugar dominating my diet.
9. Recovery is part of training
At 30 I probably thought that if some exercise was good, more must be better.
Now I understand that the workout is only half of the equation.
Training provides the stimulus. Recovery allows adaptation.
During recovery, the body repairs and adapts to the work we’ve asked it to do. Sleep is particularly important, as are adequate nutrition and periods of lower intensity.
Our parasympathetic nervous system is often nicknamed the “rest and digest” system because it’s associated with functions including digestion and conservation of energy.
That doesn’t mean we can simply switch into parasympathetic mode and magically “heal” everything.
But it does remind us of something our culture sometimes forgets:
Human beings aren’t designed to perform at maximum intensity continuously.
I now value relaxation.
Yoga Nidra.
Meditation.
Breathwork.
Walking.
Sleep.
Quiet.
Doing nothing occasionally.
Recovery isn’t laziness.
It’s part of the programme.
10. Look after your fascia — but understand what it actually is
Fascia fascinated me when I began learning more about the body.
It’s connective tissue that forms an interconnected network throughout the body, surrounding and connecting muscles and other structures. Collagen is an important component of fascial tissue.
But fascia isn’t a magical substance that “keeps us young”, and we should be careful about some of the extraordinary claims made about it online.
What I do think is important is maintaining our ability to move.
Bodies generally respond well to varied movement.
Strength.
Mobility.
Walking.
Yoga.
Changing positions.
Loading our tissues appropriately.
Resting when needed.
I particularly love Yin Yoga, where postures are usually held gently for longer periods. I enjoy the stillness, the slower pace and the opportunity to explore sensation without constantly rushing into the next movement.
We can’t say that Yin Yoga literally “releases toxins from the fascia” or melts fascia in the way it’s sometimes described.
For me, we don’t need those claims to make Yin valuable.
Sometimes simply spending time moving differently, slowing down and exploring our range of movement is enough.
When I put these ten things together, something strikes me.
Almost none of them are about having the perfect body.
They’re about understanding the body you already have.
Move before you talk yourself out of it.
Feed your gut.
Pay attention to your thoughts.
Use music to change your state.
Understand your nervous system.
Think about what alcohol does beyond the first hour.
Learn about blood glucose.
Don’t build your diet around sugar and ultra-processed food.
Recover properly.
Keep your body moving.
If I’d understood all of that at 30, would I have done everything perfectly?
Absolutely not.
And I wouldn’t expect anyone else to either.
But I think I would have spent far less time fighting my body and much more time working with it.
That’s probably the biggest thing I’ve learnt as I’ve grown older.
Health isn’t created by one enormous decision.
It’s created through hundreds of tiny decisions, repeated over years.
And the wonderful thing is that wherever you are today, you can make the next one.
Selena
Personal Trainer, Yoga Teacher & Wellbeing Coach
In Flow Wellbeing Studio, Cheltenham
