I’ve always been fascinated by the psychology of fitness because, quite often, knowing what to do isn’t actually the problem. Most of us already know that moving our bodies is good for us. We know we should probably eat well, get enough sleep, drink water and exercise regularly. The difficult bit is doing it consistently when we’re tired, busy, stressed or simply don’t feel like it.
That’s why mindset is such an important part of the way I work as a personal trainer.
I’ve trained in NLP and EFT as well as fitness, yoga, meditation and breathwork, and all of those things have influenced the way I think about motivation. I don’t think shouting at somebody to “push harder” is necessarily the best way to help them change. Sometimes we need encouragement and challenge, but sometimes we need to understand what’s actually stopping us.
I hear people say things like, “I’m lazy”, “I’ve got no willpower”, “I’m terrible at sticking to things” or “I’ve tried everything and nothing works for me.”
I don’t think those labels are particularly helpful.
If you’ve spent years starting exercise programmes that were too difficult, too restrictive or simply didn’t suit you, of course you’re going to start believing that you’re somebody who can’t stick to exercise. But perhaps the problem wasn’t you. Perhaps you just hadn’t found a way of moving that worked for you.
One of my favourite approaches on the days when motivation disappears is incredibly simple: just do 15 minutes.
Don’t think about an hour in the gym. Don’t think about what you should have done yesterday or what you’re going to do next week. Put your trainers on and start.
Give yourself 15 minutes.
If after 15 minutes you genuinely don’t have anything left, you’ve still exercised for 15 minutes. That’s considerably better than doing nothing because you couldn’t face doing an hour.
But something interesting often happens once we begin. Five minutes becomes ten. Ten becomes fifteen. We warm up, our mood changes, the music goes on and suddenly we think, actually, I can do a little bit more.
For me, that’s much more useful than waiting to feel motivated.
I also think the way we speak to ourselves matters enormously. Imagine having a personal trainer standing beside you saying, “You’re useless at this. You’re too old. Look how much fitter everyone else is. You’ll never keep it up.”
You’d probably find another personal trainer!
And yet sometimes that’s exactly how we speak to ourselves.
Part of my work is helping women develop a kinder and more encouraging internal voice. Not unrealistic positive thinking, but something much more practical: I’m learning. I’m getting stronger. I don’t have to be perfect. I can do what I can today.
The gym can bring up a lot of insecurity too, particularly if you haven’t exercised for years. You might look around and think everyone else is watching you or knows more than you do. In reality, most people are far more interested in their own workout than yours.
You don’t need to compete with anybody.
Your workout belongs to you.
I also don’t believe motivation is something we either have or don’t have. It comes and goes. There are days when I love exercising and days when getting started takes effort. That’s normal. What helps us in the long term is creating habits and routines that make movement part of our lives even when motivation isn’t particularly high.
And I think we need to celebrate the small wins much more.
Going to the gym when you nearly didn’t go is a win. Lifting a slightly heavier weight is a win. Walking further without getting tired is a win. Getting up from the floor more easily is a win. Choosing to move your body when you’ve spent years believing exercise isn’t for you is a huge win.
Fitness isn’t only about changing your body.
It can change the way you see yourself.
You begin to realise, I’m stronger than I thought. I can do difficult things. I can look after myself. I can change.
And that confidence doesn’t necessarily stay in the gym. It can start flowing into other areas of your life too.
That’s what I love about this work.
I’m not interested in creating a perfect version of you.
I’m interested in helping you discover what you’re already capable of — and then building from there, one small step at a time.
Sometimes the biggest step really is simply getting through the door.
Selena Personal Trainer, Yoga Teacher & Wellbeing Coach In Flow Wellbeing Studio, Cheltenham
