Have you ever wondered why you can feel incredibly motivated about something one day and completely uninterested in it the next? Or why one person loves setting themselves a target, following a programme and ticking off every workout, while somebody else finds exactly the same approach boring, restrictive or even stressful?
As a yoga teacher, personal trainer and NLP practitioner, I find motivation fascinating because we are not all motivated in the same way. Motivation isn’t simply about being disciplined or having enough willpower. It is influenced by our brains, emotions, personalities, environment, previous experiences and, importantly, how rewarding something feels to us.
Motivation Is Not the Same as Willpower
We often think, I know exercise is good for me, so why don’t I just do it? But knowing something is good for us doesn’t necessarily make us do it. We can know perfectly well that exercise, nutritious food and getting enough sleep will benefit us and still choose the sofa, the biscuit or another episode on Netflix.
Part of the reason is that our brains aren’t only considering what will be good for us in the future. They’re also responding to what feels rewarding now. Exercise can involve an immediate cost: effort, discomfort, getting changed, travelling somewhere and finding time in an already busy day. Meanwhile, many of its greatest rewards — stronger bones, improved cardiovascular health, increased muscle, healthy ageing and a reduced risk of disease — can feel a very long way away.
The Problem With Waiting for the Reward
Imagine somebody tells you, “Go to the gym three times a week and in six months you’ll be fitter.” That’s perfectly sensible advice, but six months is a long time to wait for a reward.
Research into motivation suggests that immediate rewards can be particularly important for persistence. Wanting to protect your health in 20 years might persuade you to start exercising, but enjoying the way you feel during and immediately after exercise may be what persuades you to keep doing it.
This is why I think we need both. We need meaningful long-term goals, but we also need to make the journey itself rewarding.
Give Your Brain Little Wins
Instead of saying, I’ll be happy when I’ve lost a stone, start creating little rewards and moments of achievement along the way. Finish your walk and enjoy your favourite coffee. Listen to a brilliant podcast while you’re exercising. Put on music that makes you want to move. Tick your workout off your calendar. Notice when you lift a slightly heavier weight or walk a little further without becoming tired.
There is even a behavioural strategy known as temptation bundling, where you combine something you want to do with something you feel you should do. Your favourite podcast could become the podcast you only listen to while walking. Your favourite programme might be something you watch while using an exercise bike. Your favourite playlist could become your gym playlist.
Instead of making yourself wait months for the reward, you’re bringing some of the reward into the activity itself.
What About Dopamine?
We hear an enormous amount about dopamine now. Social media is full of phrases such as “dopamine hits”, “dopamine detoxes” and “boosting dopamine”, but the actual neuroscience is much more complicated.
Dopamine isn’t simply a pleasure chemical. It is involved in motivation, learning, reward prediction and the processes that help our brains learn which behaviours may be worth repeating.
Rather than trying to “hack your dopamine”, I think there’s a much more useful question to ask: How can I help my brain learn that movement is rewarding?
Towards and Away-From Motivation
This is something I first became interested in through NLP. Some people naturally focus on what they’re moving towards. They might think, I want to feel strong. I want more energy. I’d love to feel confident in my clothes. I want to be able to hike on holiday.
Other people are strongly motivated by what they want to move away from. They might think, I don’t want to become unfit. I don’t want my back pain getting worse. I don’t want to lose my independence as I get older. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
Psychological research also studies approach and avoidance motivation, although people shouldn’t be put into rigid boxes as simply a “towards person” or an “away-from person”. Most of us can be motivated by both at different times.
An away-from motivation can certainly get us started, but I particularly like helping people find something positive to move towards as well. Instead of only thinking, I don’t want to become weak as I get older, we might create the goal, I want to feel strong, capable, mobile and independent in my seventies and beyond.
Suddenly there is something positive to picture.
Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation
Another useful way of understanding motivation is the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation.
Extrinsic motivation comes from outside the activity. It might be losing weight, winning a prize, receiving praise, fitting into your favourite jeans or watching the number on the scales change. Intrinsic motivation comes from the experience itself. You walk because you love walking. You dance because dancing makes you happy. You practise yoga because you love how your body feels afterwards. You lift weights because becoming stronger feels satisfying.
External motivation isn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes it’s exactly what gets us through the door. But if we can also discover an activity that gives us enjoyment, satisfaction or a sense of achievement, we’re giving ourselves another powerful reason to return to it.
We Need Choice, Progress and Connection
One of the best-known psychological theories of motivation is Self-Determination Theory, which identifies three important psychological needs: autonomy, competence and relatedness.
Autonomy means feeling that we have a choice. Instead of being told that we must run because running is good for us, perhaps we can choose between walking, swimming, yoga, dancing, cycling or strength training.
Competence means feeling capable and noticing that we’re improving. Instead of being thrown into an exercise class where everyone seems fitter than us, we can begin at an appropriate level and gradually experience ourselves becoming stronger and more confident.
Relatedness is our need for connection. Some people are much more likely to exercise when they have a trainer, a walking friend, a class or a community where they feel that they belong.
When those three things come together — choice, progress and connection — exercise can start to feel very different.
Personality Matters Too
This is something I think the fitness industry sometimes forgets. We don’t all need the same motivational strategy.
Some people love routine, numbers, targets, programmes, progress charts and structure. Other people thrive on variety, music, people, fun, novelty and play. Someone highly social may adore group exercise, while somebody else might love walking alone with a podcast. One person may find a smartwatch enormously motivating, while another may find constantly looking at numbers stressful.
Personality research does find associations between personality traits and physical activity, although that doesn’t mean we can prescribe one perfect exercise programme based on a personality test.
Instead, we can become curious about ourselves. Do you prefer exercising alone or with other people? Do you enjoy routine or variety? Do numbers motivate you or make you feel under pressure? Do you like competition? Do you need an appointment in your diary to make you turn up? Does music help? Do you enjoy learning new skills? Do you prefer being outdoors? What makes you feel successful?
There isn’t one correct answer. The important thing is discovering your answer.
Notice How Exercise Makes You Feel
One of the simplest things you can do is pay attention to how you feel immediately after you’ve moved your body.
Instead of finishing your workout and rushing straight onto the next thing, stop for ten seconds. Notice your breathing. Notice the warmth in your body. Notice whether your head feels clearer or your mood has changed. Perhaps simply acknowledge, I did it. I feel better. I’m pleased with myself.
That moment matters because you’re noticing the immediate reward rather than waiting for some distant future result.
Make the First Step Ridiculously Easy
Another mistake we make is waiting until we feel motivated enough to complete an entire workout.
But perhaps you don’t need enough motivation for an hour in the gym. You only need enough motivation to put your trainers on.
Then perhaps enough to walk for five minutes.
Then you can decide whether you’d like to continue.
We know that some physical activity is better than none, and people who are inactive can start with small amounts and gradually build up. Psychologically, those small beginnings are powerful too, because achievable successes help us develop confidence.
Motivation Often Follows Action
We tend to imagine motivation working like this: motivation leads to action, and action leads to achievement.
But very often it works the other way around. A small action creates a small success. That success feels rewarding. The reward builds confidence. Confidence increases motivation, and increased motivation makes another action more likely.
So the process can become: small action → small success → reward → confidence → more motivation → more action.
That’s why you don’t always have to wait until you feel motivated.
Start tiny. Make it enjoyable. Notice the reward. Celebrate your progress. Then repeat.
Stop Asking, “Why Am I So Unmotivated?”
Perhaps there’s a kinder and much more useful question: What would make this easier and more rewarding for me?
Maybe you need company. Maybe you need music. Maybe you need structure. Maybe you need freedom. Perhaps you need a challenge, or perhaps you need more play. You might need encouragement, accountability or someone to help you understand where to begin. Or perhaps you simply need to stop doing exercise you hate and discover movement that you actually enjoy.
Successful exercise isn’t necessarily about becoming a more disciplined person. It’s about understanding yourself well enough to create the conditions in which movement becomes easier to choose.
And when exercise starts giving you something today — pleasure, energy, connection, confidence, calm or simply a sense of achievement — rather than only promising you something six months from now, motivation can begin to feel very different.
Don’t wait for motivation to magically arrive. Create the conditions that allow it to grow.
Would You Like Some Help Finding What Motivates You?
Personal training doesn’t have to mean being pushed through a punishing workout or following somebody else’s idea of what fitness should look like.
I work with you as an individual. We can explore what motivates you, what you enjoy, what gets in your way and what kind of movement fits your body, personality, lifestyle and goals. Together, we can create a realistic approach to fitness that feels achievable, enjoyable and sustainable.
Whether you’re completely new to exercise, returning after a long break or simply struggling to stay motivated, you’re very welcome.
Book a personal training session with me at In Flow Wellbeing Studio and let’s discover what helps you move, feel stronger and enjoy the process.
